Sunday 30 December 2007

Happy New You!

My brother sent out the following about his son (my nephew), recently diagnosed autistic. His email has sparked much response including a sermon topic. May these thoughts also bless you.

Ezra sings the following:

"We wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New You! Good tidings to you, wherever you are, good tidings at Christmas and a Happy New You! We wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New You!"

Considering that in July, Ezra had a vocabulary under 40 words and hardly spoke at all, that’s amazing. To me it’s also profound. Instead of wishing you all a Happy New Year (so common, so predictable, so un-Ezra) I now wish everyone a Happy New You! Your new year may not be what you’re hoping for or very happy, but your New You, I hope it exceeds all your expectations and your circumstances. May your New You be happy. May it be more kind, more helpful, more beautiful, and more wonderful. May it be everything you ever wished for and everything those around you begged God for. May you be new and renewed and feel brand new and better than you ever knew. May your “After” pictures always be better than your “Before” pictures. When the New Year becomes old and tired, may You still be New. Happy Birthday! Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Happy New You!

Wednesday 22 August 2007

Post-Europe Trip Reflection #5: In Fair Verona Where We Lay Our Scene

11 July

Slept in. Sigh, what a beautiful thing to do on holiday! As much as there was lots to be seen, the pace of our journey so far caught up to me at this point. We enjoyed our first Italian breakfast, complete with our host's homemade berry jam, fig jam, muffins and glorious, oh so glorious, Italian coffee. I decided from then on, to partake of espresso as often as I could whilst in Italy.

I then took some time to take photos of this lovely little farm we were living at. Here is an olive tree and then a fig tree.



Before we started back on our treacherous journey back down the mountain, we had a little pow wow. As life goes sometimes, there were things left unsaid, that really needed to be brought out. We took some time that morning to each share where we were at and how we were feeling about the trip thus far. Traveling with friends is obviously different than the countless trips I have taken with students and with me as their leader. At the same time, this morning ended up being a much needed "team meeting" of sorts. And it was good.

We made our way back down the "mountain", without any incident!

Verona, as our first Italian city, was lovely. We just wandered around, took pictures, sat at a terrace cafe and ate amazing little pizza thingies, took in the style of those just walking around, admired the many Vespas and bicycles and checked out Casa di Giulietta: the home of the Capulet family inn and the supposed balcony which inspired Shakespeare. Here visitors add countless graffiti and glue love notes to the wall, but this is not why we were there! We were there to see the famed bronze breast. And see it we did. Juliet's right breast is bright bronzed in comparison to her left, thanks to the many who come specifically to rub it! Apparently, rubbing the breast is meant to grant one luck in love. And of course, being the token single in our group, partook of this great tradition I did. Twice! (For the best photo opportunities, of course.)

What else did we do in Verona? Checked out some other monstrous melons whilst shopping for dinner groceries!

If I haven't mentioned this already, I was reminded that one of my favourite things to do in another country is shop at their supermarket. We had the chance to do this often in an attempt to save some money. We stood in line with a rather inebriated fellow, who for some reason decided to approach us later in a city plaza and spit on one of my friends!! Not a pleasant experience at all. Right around this time, I stepped into some of the nicest public bathrooms I have ever had the privilege of experiencing. Cost 50 cents.

Those groceries and the nicely selected bottle of Italian wine made for an amazing home-cooked meal, a lovely end to a long day of walking (and shopping).

Sunday 12 August 2007

Post-Europe Trip Reflection #4: Bless-ed Driving

10 July

The drive got off to a bit of a shaky start, leaving St. Gallen. It was time for our first fill-up of diesel. At this point, we were realizing what an amazing vehicle we were given! It was quite difficult to find a station that would take our Canadian credit cards however. We ended up using some final Swiss francs to get ourselves set until we found another station. And again, went in the wrong direction from the Autobahn and started driving up a mountain. Oops. Once we got back on track (which included driving around a roundabout a few times as we deliberated which was the correct exit to take), it didn’t take long to arrive at the Austrian border!

We didn’t even have to stop, but chose to in order to get our passports stamped by both the Swiss and the Austrians. Again, the signage wasn’t great, but we were able to locate the place to buy our Vignette which would allow us to use Austrian roads. This one was 8 Euros versus Switzerland’s being 40 Francs! Not much for what was soon to become one of our most picturesque drives.

I would say on this particular day, the realities of travel, driving confusion, little sleep, four women together, etc. we found ourselves in an interesting place. The drive through Austria was a quiet one at times as we each took in the grandeur outside of our windows and mulled in our own thoughts. Up until this time, the majority of music played was my various mixes of Nineties tunes, yet on this day, it seemed fitting to play a little something more contemplative. This meant popping in "Nobody's Got It All Together" by Jill Phillips, then "Behold the Lamb of God" by Andrew Peterson and others and then the one mix cd I had along of more worshippy stuff (of course including some tunes by Rich Mullins, U2...). For me, music is huge. Nature is huge. Combining the two is huge-er. Despite what was going on for me inside, I could not help but sing out songs as I looked at the brilliant creation around me.

I didn't really get any shots that do this drive justice. It was a drive surrounded by mountains, some of them snow-capped and some of them church or monastery (I think?)-capped.

It just got more and more thrilling as we entered Italy. More mountains and then gradual rolling hills filled with vineyards and olive groves. So many old, old clay tiled-roofed homesteads. Such amazingly placed orchards and vines, making the best use of the steep mountain landscape.

The roads were a little thrilling as well! Very high up lots of times and filled with Italian drivers! Today I can proudly say that I drove in Italy, successfully! As tricky and frustrating as it could be sometimes (particularly their seeming impatience with you to move back over after you've passed someone, even before you could see the car you were passing in your mirror!), I just let myself join in on the aggressive style. One thing I happily give the Europeans overall with their driving is their actual understanding of the concept of passing (or as the British say, "Overtaking"). A pet peeve of mine in Canada is drivers who remain in the middle lane, never moving right. Always move right! Isn't that what we were taught?! The Europeans do it! (Even if they insist you do it before you feel that it is safe to do so!)

By the time we got to Verona, I started to tire, but driving in the city is a little intense and the others were hesitant to just start out their own Europe driving experience in that setting, so I carried on. Again, we had a lesson in the difference in direction-giving. We were reading the directions from the website of Ca del Rocolo, the rural Bed & Breakfast we were staying in (advertised as Agriturismo) and well, it becomes somewhat of a game. Going on instinct. "Turn...here! Yes, here!" "What's 'here'?" "Right. I mean, left!"

Honestly, if you want a taste, check this
out! Pay close attention to Direction #9!!

Yes folks, we were driving up a mountain again. This time a mountain road that narrowed the higher we got. Narrowed to the point where it could only fit one vehicle. And sure enough, we met another on its way down! (Picture this. Four exhausted women. Driving up a mountain with a large (and beautiful) drop-off to the right. Trying to follow a paper of directions. Hungry. Tired. Anxious. Nervous. Tense.) Fortunately, maybe because there was another car behind us, the car we met did the reversing to the closest spot where the road widened enough for them to fit into. And we carried on up. Did I mention that I stalled at the beginning of our ascent?! Sigh.

Eventually, we all came tumbling out of our car and beheld the wonder that was to be our home for two nights! It really was great. Maybe for some, not worth the harry drive to reach, but I was in favour. Our host graciously picked us some tomatoes, eggplant, peppers, onions and garlic from her garden, gave us some mozzarella, Parmesan, pasta, olive oil (home grown) and wine and we had one of the most fulfilling meals ever. I was so thankful for my friends at this point who stepped up to make this meal while I plopped on the big nice bed in our room of cute wooden doors and shutters.

Wednesday 8 August 2007

How Embarrassing

This morning at work I'm checking the emails and there is one from "chick track" with no subject. Interesting, since I remember reading Chick Tracts as a kid. (My dad had a bunch hanging around for some reason and I loved the comics.)

So here's this email starting out with "HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS? In the Bible Revelation Chapter 1 Verse 7 says Jesus is coming soon. Happy are we if he finds us waiting for him." And ending with "five easy steps to accepting Jesus as Savior." In the middle there was this link to www.2007rapture.com. I think you'd better take a look.

Interesting still is how I noticed this considerate email/warning was sent to twenty-four international YWAM locations.

Monday 6 August 2007

Post-Europe Trip Reflection #3: Reunions

9 July

Woke up to a marvelous Swiss breakfast. Mmmm. Then set out for our romp around Basel. Our tour guide was my friend Daria who I hadn't seen since her DTS in Kitchener, Ontario in 2000. Back then, I helped to lead her school of five students. We were the same age, 19, but because I had already finished my own DTS the year before in England, that gave me a heads up. I remember my nervousness over leading their outreach to Mexico City. YWAM Kitchener/Global Youth Network has always done an amazing job at empowering youth and giving them challenging leadership roles. Fortunately, our team went to Mexico with one of the Global University teams who had a very experienced leader. I also remember even feeling slightly strange as one of the students "under me" was older than me. I put him in charge of the money in Mexico!

(BTW, here's a most flattering picture of me around this time (2000). Chris, ya gotta see this!)Click here.

So here we are posing in front of the Rhine River on the balcony of Les Trois Rois a posh Swiss hotel. Daria was an amazing tour guide and we learned about this old city. About the snobby folk of Greater Basel and the lawless folk of Smaller Basel. About bridges and cobblestone streets (all very, very old).

We took a wonderful gander through the Basel Cathedral, built of red sandstone with a patterned roof in the thirteenth century and rebuilt following an earthquake in 1356. We took the slightly scary and tiring climb up the various levels to the top of the spire.
Here are some of my shots:


Uniquely-carved chairs instead of pews.



We then spent some time in a Swiss supermarket stocking up on chocolate and buying food for our road trip. I also bought some Aromat seasoning, this kind of salt I used to use at my first job at a German restaurant making salads as a teenager. It's been making some recent potato salads pretty good.

It was really great to spend this short time catching up with Daria, who has gone on to Master in African Studies and specializing in educating about Tropical Disease. Her once German-accented English, now replaced with a proper British accent! Very cute. It was great to see her love for her city and her community there as she commonly encountered a friend on the street and greeted them with the three-kisses of the Swiss.

From Basel we drove (simply, with no lost episodes) to St. Gallen where two friends from both mine and Sharon's DTS live. Although Sharon has visited them from time to time, I hadn't seen Conny since her visit to Canada the summer of 2000 and Damaris since our whirlwind tour of London at the end of our school in June 1999! Here we are back then.Click here.

Sharon and Dama were roommates for 9 months and traveled to Brazil together while Conny and I were roommates for 9 months in England. And seeing them in their homes in Switzerland was so comfortable. We went out for Rosti, caught up and reminisced. When it came time to leave the next morning (after another amazing Swiss breakfast where Sharon had her revelation that cheese is not supposed to be orange), we actually felt teary.


With directions in hand (printed from a Swiss-type Mapquest), Waterloo library book map of Italy left behind, we were off from Switzerland (terribly, terribly too soon) and on to Italy via...Austria!

Thursday 26 July 2007

Post-Europe Trip Reflection #2: The Road Trip Begins

8 July

Cab it back to Charles de Gaulle to pick up our rental car. During our trip planning months ago, we quickly learned that for four people, renting a car was the way to go. We got a sweet deal through our lovely travel agent friend, Maria that gave us a car for cheaper than one Eurail Pass! It didn't take much to figure out that we would need a serious upgrade to be able to lug around the suitcases of four women, so at the airport we were given a VW Touran, which either seats seven, or seats five with a big trunk! Here we are posing with our grey friend (at the end of it all):

Driving felt a little tricky at first. Getting used to the feel of the van, its trippy side mirrors, the feel of its clutch and its sixth gear. We got some advice for where to head out to and also consulted the France road map I brought from the Waterloo public library. We were headed for Champagne. Specifically for the cellar of Moet & Chandon. We had the directions from their website and thought we were set.

Well, leaving the airport headed for a certain Autoroute proved to be much more complicated than expected. Silly, inexperienced us. As we followed the appropriate signs, they would randomly disappear. It didn't take long before we realized that we were headed back toward Paris! We exited and tried our hand at asking for directions (something that we would get really good at in days to come). That didn't work out too well, so we just got back on the Autoroute and headed back in the direction from whence we came. Eventually we got on the one we wanted, after an hour of wasted driving! Our first lesson on the unique nature of European signage.

The traffic wasn't spectacular at this point as many French folk were beginning their holidays on this Sunday morning.

A few hours later we realized that the directions from the Champagne cellar website weren't so hot either! We were given a most lovely drive through the scenic Champagne region and I would post some pictures had I taken any--I was driving! We did pass the same places more than once and from a variety of angles! Finally we threw out the directions they gave us and just figured it out ourselves. Started asking people again. When we made it to Epernay, the town where the winery was supposed to be, we were still at a loss and could not find any signs pointing out this most famous place! Fortunately the next man we asked for help from, offered to have us follow him. (Knowing the verb for "to follow" proved to be helpful as it was about the only thing I fully understood in what he said!)

And there it was. This huge building. Couldn't believe that we hadn't seen it. There was no winery how I picture them from my experiences in the Niagara region. We posed with the statue of Dom Perignon, the monk who discovered Champagne/sparkling wine. Checked out the bottles, Sharon bought a bottle of rose. Learned that we didn't have enough time to do the tour, which was kind of expensive anyway. AND, learned that you couldn't taste any champagnes without doing the tour. :( Ah well. We can say we were there.

Since it had taken a ridiculously long time to get to Epernay and since we still had a long way to Switzerland, we stopped in at the tourist office and asked them to print us out some directions from a French website. And we were off again.

Same thing, getting to the Autoroute didn't go so smoothly. This time, I don't think we actually went out of the way, we just drove on slow roads through towns for quite awhile, questioning where we were the whole time! Finally we made it onto one of the lovely 130 km/h-speed limit Autoroutes!

Now, my friend Daria was expecting us for dinner in Basel and we definitely had had enough time to drive that distance if all went smoothly. By now, I'm sure you can see that driving was NOT going that smoothly and it became apparent that we weren't going to make it to Basel until after 10!!

By the time we got to the border, we were pretty spent. Nothing too eventful happened in the crossing. We had to pull over to buy a vignette to be able to drive on Swiss roads. Straight away we were immersed in Swiss-German. Leaving the border, a directional error occurred (forever to be named by us as "The Tunnel Incident") and we found ourselves driving under the Rhine River to the wrong side of Basel. As exhausted as we were, seeing signs for Deutschland or for Zurich wasn't too comforting! Rather than trying to figure out another way back across the river, we just exited and turned around. The whole time I was so anxious to get out of that tunnel and on to Daria's.

The street signs were not easy to make out at this time of night, especially with names like Mulhausstraf, Vogenstrasenhauser or something like that! Before making it to her house was another needed ask for directions. Once at a handy police station and once with a lady on the side of the road, where Judy tried out her Pennsylvania Dutch (Mennonite-style German).

Happy ending to a very long day. We made it to Daria's. Had some nice fondue. Settled in for our night in her cute little apartment. Last time I saw Daria, she was slightly Canadianized in her English, but she has since lived in Africa and England and now holds quite a posh English accent. It was really great to hang out with her, but that happened more the next day....

Post-Europe Trip Reflection #1

le 6 juillet 2007.

Flew into London in the morning, (which isn't great) because it only took about 6 hours--caught some crazy tail wind or something. Watched Premonition on the plane. Was alright. Had to pee real bad at the end, but held it so as not to miss anything. So sleep was minimal and here we had the whole day ahead of us! Good ol' Heathrow was still reeling from insecurities and we had to comply with many frustrating hand baggage restrictions. Transfered easily for next flight on to Paris.

First impression of Charles de Gaulle airport: ghetto. Flew into Terminal 2B and couldn't believe this is one of the major 1st world airports! Walked and walked. Tried to find an air alliance lounge to talk our way into--nope. Found a Sheraton and found some couches in the lobby on which we snoozed for a bit. Nice! After the power nap, bought a baguette sandwich. Walked on further to some train thing to get to Terminal 3. Already my 22 kg suitcase was proving to be somewhat of a trial.

See, I always travel for work. Leading a pack of students, all laden in fancy backpacks, myself included. This Europe trip however, was to be a first of traveling with a roller suitcase and staying in Bed and Breakfasts. Bringing as many things as I wanted because we'd have a car to store it in. Besides, two of my travel companions were not seasoned travellers and admittedly would be bringing lots of clothes, hair dryers, straighteners, shoes and things. So I needn't feel bad about this huge suitcase I borrowed from my sis-in-law. At least it was still smaller than my only roll-y one (that I bought for living in India for four months)!

So yeah, Terminal 3. Even more ghetto. Reminded me of the Manaus airport (that's in the Amazon)! Birds flying around inside. Slept there some more while we waited for the ladies' plane to arrive. And Easy Jet was late.

Got a cab to take us to the centre to our hotel. A bit of a fight amongst the taxi drivers over that. Got accustomed to hearing "apres 250 metres, tournez a doite", "tournez a gauche" and started to think maybe we should get a GPS for our rental car later! It didn't serve our driver too well though, because there was some sort of demonstration going on near our hotel and he took some crazy, long, backwards way to get there. 70 Euros later...we arrived at the Best Western Premier L'Horset Opera Hotel (booked with more Aeroplan miles than one needs for two free flights within North America--I was desperate and trying to save money).

Good location. Awesome introduction to le petit dejeuner! Mmmm. Two nights. One full day to walk everywhere and see everything we could.

Wandered around trying to find a good place to eat. Asked an attractive man (or so the ladies pointed out) for some advice--I was enjoying trying out my French and randomly selected someone nearby who happened to be sharply dressed in a suit. And happened to be attractive. I then, unintentionally, continued to entertain my companions by walking along and suddenly and startlingly finding the arm of a young Frenchman around my shoulder. "Ca va?" and a request for a kiss (in the French greeting style). Bienvenue a Paris.

Then right after that, I saw William H. Macy! Tres cool!

le 7 juillet

Lots of walking. Checked out the Louvre. Confirmed that Mona Lisa's eyes do follow you around the room.

Stumbled upon the top secret wedding of Eva Longoria and Tony Parker.


Walked along the Seine River. Spotted the Eiffel Tower. To Notre Dame.

Weather kinda sucked. Some shopping started. Got tired. Had a nap. Headed out for the Eiffel Tower via the Champs Elysees. There it is. Had to stand in the middle of the road during a red light to get a picture of the Arc de Triomphe!

Tried out the metro.

Had escargots at an ok restaurant near the Eiffel Tower. Checked the tower out from the ground.


And that my friends, is Paris in a day.

Thursday 5 July 2007

Don't bet the farm

Just picked up my pay cheque and said goodbye to my farm friends. Who knows? I may be back there in August, but seriously, I need something closer and that pays more for less work. Yup, hoeing is hard work. Putting up with insistent, lonely Jamaica men isn't always easy either. But, I made it. Successfully so, since the older, German grandmother (whose actual name is Barnhill! (I may not be spelling that right)) quite likes me "Ee-lee-zabet" and she's the most hardcore, hoeing farmer lady I have ever met! Apparently I will be missed there and I think I may miss parts of it too. But on to other things.

Flying to London tonight! Yippee! I must admit, my suitcase is kinda heavy. I like to think that it was heavy to begin with, before I put anything inside. But it is kind of nice to do a "holiday" trip and look like a fancy tourist with a suitcase with wheels rather than a work trip where I look sweaty, unkempt and am lugging around a huge backpack. Not to mention the group of young 'uns trailing behind me whose tickets and passports I am so carefully holding. I don't really get to holiday much, so this is great!

Everything is coming together--we have accommodation all secured right up until the 12th. I am really looking forward to seeing my friends in Switzerland and am so thankful that they are able to host us. We have two nights in a fancy Paris hotel for which I had to redeem Aeroplan miles (the same amount of miles would have bought me more TWO return flights in North America!) since everything is so expensive. And we have a few nights stay at a Bed and Breakfast outside of Verona in a farm house.

Anyway, I am just kind of rushing this blog off since I am still getting the house cleaned up, the car washed of its farm dust, calling the fam, changing our answering machine (we're pretty much ALL away), refreshing my French knowledge....We leave in three hours for the airport.

Most exciting is that I had a digital camera given to me recently! My first one. So I intend to blog some more during the trip and hopefully share some amazing photos.

Sunday 17 June 2007

This is My Father's World

What a great day! It all just kind of "came together". I had no plan for my Sunday afternoon, but during the sermon in church this morning, my mind wandered to the idea of going for a nice, long bike ride. So after making lunch, I applied my sunscreen, filled my water bottle and went.

As much as I like biking around city streets, I was thinking of going out into the "country". Every day that I drive out to Pfennings I see great bike routes and realize that I really do have a draw to small towns and countryside. At the same time, I knew that I wouldn't be able to physically handle going so far on such a hot day and on an unfamiliar bike (I wanted to try out my housemate's). K-W has some good trails in the city, but I figured they'd be busy with walkers today, so I decided to stick to the city streets.

I was chucking along University Ave. heading out towards RIM Park when I came upon a sign for the Grand River Trail. Yes, this sign. (I try to illustrate these blogs as much as I can.)...


Now as a much as I love Kitchener-Waterloo, I have always found it hard that there is no lake, beach or attractive nature around (at least not, compared to my hometown--that's Wasaga in this pic...)

Every so often around town here, I cross this "Grand River", but well...yeah. I had heard of this trail, so I decided to take it.

First, I discovered this huge Kiwanis Park place that I never even knew existed in this city--looks like an awesome place to swim!

Then I was on this trail that basically winds around the river. I ended up biking along it for about 8 km, completely alone. I was no longer in the city. I was in the woods, I was at the river's bank. I was up, I was down, I was going through long, long grass and I had no idea where I was. I saw no one for a long time and no one saw me. In fact, no one in the world knew where I was (not even myself), which felt a little risky at moments, but brought back many childhood memories of me doing basically the same thing in the areas around our farm. I figured if I was safe as child, I was just as safe today.

I really can't describe fully just how much I enjoyed those kms along the trail today. It was as though I entered a secret little world or something. One moment I was in Waterloo and the next, I was completely hidden in nature. There was the feeling of familiarity with biking on trails that took me back to happy, childhood times of solitude. There was my catching glimpses of the treeline as it would only be along the edge of a river and that reminded me of the Amazon. There was my accidental detour off of the correct trail, right into wildgrass--a little precarious on a bike! There was me getting off the bike, traipsing through the grass, my foot falling in a hole, but me not injuring it and feeling relief that I didn't, seeing as I was in 'nowhere'. My delight with Lisa's bike that has thicker tires than mine and allowed me to bike without fear over such a variety of terrain. There was my successful ascent up a steep grade. And so many, many smiles out loud. Honestly, I couldn't help but smiling to myself. And to whoever else was there with me.

There was practically a laugh out loud as I coasted speedily down a gravel hill (again, without any of my usual skinny-tire-fear), passing some other people who said hello and then realizing I was re-entering the world. And where did I re-enter exactly? At The Dollhouse. LOL. (Kitchener's strip club.)

Today is Father's Day and I didn't visit my dad. Mostly because of gas prices and the fact that I am driving 40 km per day to work at this farm with the hopes of saving money! (I will see my dad next week though since I have to do a teachy gig at a camp up there.) This morning at church a woman whose father lives in Missouri shared her plan to spend today in her "Father's world". She then beautifully sang the hymn that I had forgotten has been a favourite of mine in years past. It came back to mind this afternoon as I spent the time I did--particularly as I walked through the tall, tall grass.

This is my Father's world and to my listening ears all nature sings and round me rings the music of the spheres.
This is my Father's world: I rest me in the thought of rocks and trees, of skies and seas; his hand the wonders wrought.
This is my Father's world, the birds their carols raise, the morning light, the lily white, declare their maker's praise.
This is my Father's world: he shines in all that's fair; in the rustling grass I hear him pass; he speaks to me everywhere.

Monday 21 May 2007

I've Got the Month of May

Today is Victoria Day, or the holiday Canadians affectionately call "May 2-4 weekend". It is one of those days where it is warmer outside than in and I took advantage of the day off and the sun. For a few weeks now, I have been revelling in what I see around me. Indeed, this is one of the few months of May that I have actually been at home
(1999 - England
2000 - Mexico
2001 - Macedonia
2002 - Brazil
2003 - Brazil
2004 - Ontario
2005 - Guatemala & Ontario
2006 - Thailand & Cambodia)
and I have been strolling around Waterloo, taking it all in.






















Sunday 13 May 2007

Being Mom's Little Girl

It hit me today that I miss my mom. It hit me and it broke me. Then after a five-hour car ride that should have only been a two-hour ride (here's that story), I saw her, shared my tears and thoughts with her and have come out a little better.

I know that I come across to practically everyone that I am this strong, independent woman. Today on Mother's Day, it hit me that I needed mothering. An overwhelming ache as I drove and drove and drove. As I drove and saw so many families, couples--happy people making the most of inching along the road on a Sunday afternoon. As I drove and felt lonely. Alone, shifting those gears up, then down. Changing the tunes. Turning off the tunes. Kind of aching and wanting my mom.

(And then being afraid that when I did finally make it to Barrie, she may not be there for me. And she may need me. And the roles may still be reversed.)

It's taken many years, I guess. As teenagers, girls often want to be as far away as possible from their moms. I was like that off and on. Clashes with my mom were not uncommon, especially as I demanded more independence and she swung into more of her manic stages. At sixteen, having had my license for only one month, my parents trusted me enough to let me drive their car with two friends twelve hours to Pennsylvania for our first big "Independence Trek"--camping for a week at a music festival! At eighteen, I moved across the Atlantic and didn't come back for nine months! At nineteen, I moved to Kitchener (in the dodgiest area of the city, mind you) and figured out the city life completely on my own.

It's almost like I've always seen independence as this amazing trait, something to go after. Yet, I remember the first time my closest friend challenged me with the fact that we are not born independent and the actual created design is that humankind be interdependent. I need to let myself need others. I have sought after this more and more in my relationships. (I know I have improved and I hope that those around me would agree. I hope that those that really know, see me as someone not always strong...) Except not so much in my relationship with my parents.

It hit me today that my mom hasn't called me for a long time. She used to call often and try to chat with me. And by try, I mean that I would just sit there and listen. Never offering much of my own self, my own life. Even when asked. Classic case of kid coming home from school to a mom sincerely asking, "How was your day?" and the kid says, "Fine," and goes up to their room.

And today it hit me and it broke me. I wish I could have the chance again to pour out my life to my mom on the phone. Why have I assumed for so long that my parents only need me? Why have I not let myself need them?

Anyway, like I said, this day has a happy ending. I saw my mom and I told her I missed her. I told her I realized I never talked very consistently to her on the phone and I wished she would call again so I could talk to her. I told her that I was sad. I told her that I was feeling lonely. I asked her for advice. I told her what she could pray for for me. I asked her to pray with me and she did. I showed her pictures from my life recently. I showed her my new dress and my new haircut. I lay beside her on her bed for two hours and she held me, stroked my hair (something I used to cringe away from) and loved me. She told me, "Don't cry, Bethy. It's ok."

"God, thank you for nudging me to let myself need my mom. Thank you that my mom is actually my mom right now. Thank you for bringing her along as you are. As I have prayed/sang in the past when that wasn't the case, thank you that you are my Heavenly Mother.

Oh gently lay your head
Upon my chest
And I will comfort you like a mother while you rest
The tide can change so fast
But I will stay
The same through past the same in future the same today

I am constant
I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy
I am wise
I’m the only one who knows your heart’s desires
Your heart’s desires

Oh weary tired and worn
Let out your sighs
Drop that heavy load you hold cause mine is light
And I know you through and through
There’s no need to hide
I want to show you love that is deep and high and wide

Oh gently lay your head
Upon my chest
And I will comfort you
Like a mother
While you rest."
***

Friday 4 May 2007

I Gave In

Joined Facebook tonight. Sigh. More time spent online. You have to admit though, it's pretty cool. Excellent to see the Global Youth Network group (with lots of alumni, current travellers and photos)! Then there's the many lost high school friends...yikes. I hope they contact me first. :)

I also rented a Renault diesel, manual wagon today! To be picked up in Paris in July! Very exciting stuff. As much as I would have loved to take the train, this is going to be an excellent deal and we can tread off the beaten path as much as we'd like and not be on specific schedules. Next step, find some affordable accommodation in Paris.

I really love how God is one step ahead of me. Once again, on the topic of employment, he is spot on! I've been contemplating an extra summer job lately and wonder of wonders, a friend approached me today to tell me that the boss of the sign shop I have previously worked at is looking to hire someone. And my friend mentioned me to him without knowing that I may even be interested.

Now even though I had been thinking about a farm job over the summer (seriously, I like weeding, the heat and the sun), the way that this topic randomly came up is striking me as a bit of a possible God thing. God even has a sense of humor, since one of my trained tasks at the sign shop is actually called "weeding"!

I have story after story of how God faithfully has provided income and/or employment at just the time I needed it. Ever since I joined this crazy YWAM/Global world. There were my days at The Pita Pit--as low-paid as it was, it was flexible and exactly what I needed at the time. Then right as that shop closed up, there was this sign job opportunity which also was flexible and a marvelous blend of fun, technicality and art! Then one day, there was no more work there. But when I started to be concerned, these ESL tutoring jobs came up. Then the students all went back to Korea, but Global got its act together a bit and started helping us out!

Now there's school and holiday costs to cover and here my most amazing Friend goes. He's so generous, I love it!

"For God is sheer beauty,
all-generous in love,
loyal always and ever."

Thursday 26 April 2007

My Arm's Sore From Hitting Home Runs.

Played some Wii, last night. I've been able to lower my age to 29. Not too bad. I find it remarkable how one can find themselves physically sore from playing a video game!

Surprisingly, my legs aren't very sore from my closer-to-actual experience of cycling up mountains and breaking out in front of a pack of cyclists. (Spin class.) I believe that was the first time I found myself visualizing something in my mind to help me overcome and finish "the race" while completely out of steam! My heart rate ended at 180!! Yikes!

Uma Verdade Inconveniente.

I finally saw An Inconvenient Truth last night. I liked it, but found it seriously bothersome and somewhat lacking couth to see all of the footage of Mr Gore traveling by car and by air! Am I the only one who sees just a bit of a contradiction there, regarding fossil fuel and CO2 emissions?! I mean, I certainly appreciate the amazing part he is playing in educating the public. And in challenging us all. And, I loved the practical tips listed all throughout the closing credits and Melissa Ethridge's song. But....

Of course, I know what the tension (the contradiction) is all about. Coming back from many countries and many situations, pledging to change my lifestyle. Having great intentions to boycott everything! But of course, we have to "pick our battles". Pick what "issue" is most important to us and go after making a difference with your whole heart. Or, doing the little bits that one can over a variety of issues. I don't know which is better. I know that I certainly have picked what it is that I can do as much as I can. Buying locally, buying fairly traded clothing and drinks. Not shopping at Walmart. Recycling, minimizing water and electricity usage, walking, biking, car pooling. (But, well, I still fly...)

The most impressive and credible person I ever heard speak on the issue of emissions was Will Braun, one of the editors of Geez Magazine. He shared the importance of a personal connection to an "issue". He had had the opportunity to visit the end of the pipeline once in northern Alberta and spent some time in the First Nations community there. It was there where he really saw the negative effects of the oil industry on that community. And I believe it was that experience that motivated him the most to make deliberate decisions for change.

I certainly identify with this as well. Lately I've been realizing just how much the situation in New Orleans bothers me and how excited {for lack of a better word) I get at any mention of the city. I believe that must be because of the personal connection I have been able to make in going there six times now (twice, post-Katrina).

Similarly, on Sunday our church had a really different (and amazing) worship time. We watched a 45 minute documentary about creatures in the Amazon! Basically, our act of worship was seeing and learning about the awesome creation of the Creator! I particularly enjoyed it and felt connected because it was all from the Rio Negro, in Amazonas, Brazil. A place I have been to three times!

And then there are the experiences of others I have witnessed, who return home as people more compassionate and open-minded towards the poor, oppressed and needy. And all that from just spending time with and personally connecting with those they may not normally open themselves up to.

Yes, it is so true that we need this personal connection to an "issue". Especially to give us a motive to change our actions other than guilt.

All this is a side thought really. A good point. Now back to that Will Braun guy.

He actually biked to the Nidus Festival last August in Kitchener (where we at Global Youth Network were hosting a Fair Trade cafe), rather than accepting the plane ticket offered to him as a speaker. A distance of 2,220 km! At the time, we learned that he hadn't flown in three years! He has a campaign going called De-motorize Your Soul! Please check it out, as there are some practical things and some more food for thought. In fact, this whole little ramble is reminding me of this whole thing. Funny how we so easily forget the stories of those who impressed us once upon a time.

Friday 20 April 2007

I'm going to Europe

It's official. The tickets have been booked. And this is an actual holiday! Can you believe that I am traveling for sole pleasure for once!? (Although, a couple of our travel mates are turning to Sharon and myself for guidance and well, team leading! Ha ha. And already I am kicking into Beth-organizer mode--getting very excited to plan and plot things all out!)

So it's going to be four countries in the period of July 5th to the 23rd! France, Italy, Switzerland and England in that order. (England is more to visit friends.) Quite the whirlwind.

If you're interested, you can check out our route plan at My Own Google Map.

Speaking of Google Maps, here's a little something fun to try. Go to "Get Directions" and choose a North American city departure and a European city arrival (New York to Paris, for example) and read the directions they give you. Particularly scrolling down to the transatlantic portion.

For those with experience or those who would like the chance to live through my experience, I am open to any suggestions of places to go and things to see. Along the way of course (Paris and surrounding region, Nice, Cannes, Monaco, Pisa, Rome, Venice, Davos, Herisau, Zurich, Basel, Champagne...) For example, I found this cool little thingy I want to check out. Lord of the Rings fans, you may be interested.

And if you're the praying type and agree that I deserve such a holiday, please join me in beseeching the Lord for the necessary money! Yikes. Merci beaucoup!

Sunday 15 April 2007

Un bon jour

C’est une nuit froide. Beaucoup de gens sont dans les rues de ma ville. C’est un ville d’étudiants et les classes ont fini pour l’année! Oui, beaucoup de gens sont dehors ce soir. Je l’aime.

Je me suis promenée aussi. J’ai rencontré ma bonne amie à un café. Elle y était avec des autres femmes pendant que leurs maris ont joué le poker! Finalement, je suis revenue chez moi. Et j’y suis!

Aujourd’hui était un bon jour. J’ai eu un examen français en Collingwood (j’ai vu un enseignant vieil que j’ai eu il y a 11 ans!) et il a passé très bien. Je me sens bon de lui. Après l’examen, je suis allée à Wasaga Beach et j’ai eu une sieste! Alors, je suis allée à la celebration pour l’anniversaire de ma grand-mère. Elle a 80 ans!! Il y avais beaucoup de gens. Elle est spéciale. J’ai chanté pour elle. Elle s’appelle Mary alors, j’ai chanté “Let It Be” parce que les mots. Ensuite, beacoup de ma famille m’a approché complimenter. Ils n’ont sait que je chante bien ou que je joue le guitare. (Parler dont, j’ai parlé à mes amis de jouer de musique ensemble. Faire une bande.)

J'ai apprécié passant du temps vraiment avec ma famille aujourd'hui. Je ne les vois pas très souvent. Je vois rarement mes cousins, donc c'était très agréable. Tout le monde était très gentil et qui soutient quand parler de ma maman.

Merci Dieu pour mon bon jour.

Tuesday 3 April 2007

A Reversal of Roles

The following are tearful (I mean, really full) thoughts I had today while driving, once again. This time on my way from picking my mom up at the hospital and taking her to her new temporary home.

"You're bossing me around! Telling me what to do! You're not being fair!"
"Well, if you want me to treat you like an adult, you're going to have to start acting like one."
~Reflections on a mother-daughter conversation. The daughter's statement is the latter.

"Why was I even born? I'm stupid. I was a mistake. Born out of wedlock, born out of wedlock. My parents only got married because of me. My father hated me."
~Words and hurts you never want to hear. Especially crying from out of your mother's mouth."Blessed be Your Name when the sun's shining down on me and the world's all as it should be...when the darkness closes in Lord, still I will say, Blessed be Your Name."

"Oh Lord, Your love is new with every morning.
Your faithfulness gets me through the night.
You bid me come.
You know that I am weary.
Your yoke is easy, Your burden is light."
~boredatthebeach

Tuesday 27 March 2007

To Facebook or Not to Facebook

I have always been someone who maintains this odd tension between being trendy and being counter-trendy. With certain things, especially techie kind of things, I like to come across as one in-the-know. Up with the times. But with other things, I hate the possibility that I may come across as a trend follower, so I strongly avoid jumping on the bandwagon.

For example, in high school I prided myself as being someone who shopped at thrift stores and not at the trendy GAP. (Of course, my flopping between being a hippy or a poser-skater, was a trend in itself in my small town. But the point being, at the time, I felt it important to "be my own person". To not be swayed by the rules of the pack regarding fashion.) Yet, I can remember when the internet began to get going and we were all given school email accounts; but, then this Hotmail thing, and then later MSN IM, came up and I was quick to get on board with those.

Like I said, I kind of contradict myself. These days, I am avoiding looking into any form of tattoo based soley on the fact that it is too trendy. Yet, I so quickly buy into various products available at Shopper's Drug Mart or my local health food section (other items that could also be classed as trendy).

Now take MySpace. As many of you would know, I am still a fairly new partaker in this whole thing. But, that is not because I was out of the loop. No no. It was because I regarded it as a trend to be avoided. It's too cool. And I am too cool to let myself in on things that are so cool. (When you put it like that, it doesn't make much sense, does it?)

In the end, I joined MySpace to get in on the photos. With all of my traveling, I have stopped taking a camera and have become somewhat dependent on others to document the trips. There was a particular trip from last year that I was wanting photos from and I remembered that I could get these from one of the team member's MySpace. After I signed up, however, her photos from that trip were no where to be found! And now I have been sucked into this passtime of comment reading and writing, profile updating, song changing and now, blogging!!

And all of this brings me to my subject. This whole Facebook thing has been floating around now for awhile and I haven't signed up yet. Again, it's not because I am out of the loop. Not only is it "too trendy", there's also the problem of time management with all of this stuff. How much more time can I possibly spend online? Or the better question, how much more time should I spend online?

MySpace has ended up being a neat way to reconnect with people and apparently Facebook is even better at that (or so I've heard). Reconnecting with people is always a nice thing. Especially when friends end up all over the map. I've actually been doing a lot of reconnecting lately, whether it be electronically, or face to face. In fact, since moving back to the Beach, I have run into so many people, especially at the gym. Just tonight even, I ran into a guy I hadn't seen for nearly ten years! I was also able to see an old friend of mine recently (someone I hadn't seen since 1999) and we set it all up through MySpace and MSN. (Mind you, it was her initiation of writing me a real, good ol' fashioned snail mail Christmas letter that helped me find her to begin with.)

So, here I have another Facebook invitation in my inbox. I have previously deleted so many (so sorry to all of you--it wasn't personal, just my aversion to trends). And this one is from someone who I have completely lost touch with and I would love to get it back! Hmm...
~boredatthebeach

Wednesday 21 March 2007

Actors I rikee

I've been doing a lot of driving lately. To New Orleans and back. Back and forth between Wasaga and Waterloo. Lots of driving means lots of music in the car. Lots of driving and lots of music can also lead to lots of mind-wandering.

So today, I'm driving back to my parents' and on one of my lovely mixes comes "Your Song", the Moulin Rouge version and I get to thinking just how much I like Ewan McGregor as a singer. Then I think how much I like his documented road trip, riding his motorbike across continents. Then I thought about how much I've liked his movies. Then I get to thinking about just who are my favourite actors. Favourite actors for their art--maybe just a little bit, for their looks.

So, for your reading and visual (perhaps) pleasure, here they are, in no particular order:


Colin Firth, Ewan McGregor, Kenneth Branagh--Yes, they're all British.

Finally, here is my favourite-looking actor. (NOT preferred for his "film" appearances.) Freddie Prinze Jr.

I realize that this is a strange first blog. Especially from me. But well, who can question the wanderings of the mind during road trips? For some reason I figured that sharing this information to the world would let y'all in on a little more of who I am and what I like. I'm still trying to think of who my favourite actresses are....

~boredatthebeach



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