I was getting my Income Tax Return stuff together last night, excited about getting a refund. Certain that I paid too much tax for my lowly annual income. Well, turns out that I owe money! And it's all because I didn't pay tax on the money I make for my private tutoring. I mean, I could lie and pretend that I didn't actually make that money (don't worry snooping CRA man, I'm just kidding)...It really bothered me. I was really hoping for some extra income. With all the work ya do to even file the return! Went to bed hearing the hymn refrain in my head, "God will take care of you..." and thinking how I'm one of those Canadians who wants its country to take care of its people, so I should suck it up and pay the tax! (I still can't help but think they've got it wrong. I did lots of charitable giving and if you work it out, it's just a minimum wage salary! Aren't I one of the ones the government is supposed to be taking care of?!) Still, I tried to take God's word to heart and agree to trust him [once again] to provide.
This morning, still struggling with that, but doing it. This afternoon, got an email from my longest financial supporters asking for insight into my financial situation because there are other missionaries who are having lots of needs at the moment. The email didn't shock me, because honestly, I've been wondering when it would happen (10 years is a long time to support someone), considering how I've been getting a little salary now from Global. Just thought it was funny how it happened today. After my tax incident. Is God really trying to tell me something? Maybe it's the "thrill" of "living by faith" that I'm supposed to get back into and that's gonna drag me out of my depressed slump. Seriously, if that's the case, what a weird idea. Since instability can actually be super depressing. Do I REALLY need something else depressing in my life?!
Maybe it's a suggestion to not spend some money on my hair, like I've been holding out for (to push back the winter blues).
1 comment:
Yeah, Bethie; You know as well as I do that he promised to clothe the lilies of the field and feed the lowly sparrow -- and he even notices when it falls from the sky! ♪ -- but I hear ya -- living by faith doesn't seem to be all it's cracked up to be, right? Then again, think back over your life and take note of all the times you've managed to pay your bills AND have money left over for some fun -- like haircuts and colours! God is blessing you for putting him and others before yourself. Just keep on doing what you're doing... you'll be rewarded for your faith! Love ya, M.
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